as they sit in judgment of their kin...

sometimes I wonder if my "inner conflict" has just been me having difficulty acknowledging to myself that I am a bad person, that I almost judge myself as such but am resisting the verdict.

sometimes I wonder if I am beginning to grow into acceptance of being a bad person.

sometimes I wonder if am actually a bad person. these moments where there seems to be hope come in waves... and whenever I come to consider where things are at, I make the waves worse. more severe, more uneven... the extremes of possibility and despair, if I were to take the "emo" approach. wow, I can't tell when I'm being pretentious or arrogant or snobbish anymore.

sometimes I wonder if I just can't tell how to judge myself, or whether I even want to. whether I deserve to.

-B-